dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
