I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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