I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
