this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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