My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
