grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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