She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
