he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
