Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
