when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Still dying that you shit outside
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just forgot I was standing up.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
