So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
