seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
