In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
too bad you live with your parents still
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
