Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Less talking, more tequila
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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