I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
