I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
