Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dear god my vagina.
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