I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I've blown a few things in my day
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
