im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
