wakey wakey hands off snakey
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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