I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
