Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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