I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
