smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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