I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
