there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
