So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Randomize
