All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
