Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
