if i died would you start the facebook group?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
