wat bout pragnant strippers??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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