I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
