But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
