omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
