its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
