She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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