Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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