We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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