I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
