I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
