could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
