You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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