hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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