Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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