Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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