The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
