im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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