help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
