Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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