her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
