Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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